[emily] parents just shouldn't die.
[emily] it's not ok.
[katchoo] seriously.
[katchoo] at least not until we're all much much older
[katchoo] and more prepared!
[emily] yes.
[emily] there ought to be a law.
[katchoo] dude.
[katchoo] when i'm president, i'll make a law.
[emily] ok.
[emily] can i be in your cabinet?
[katchoo] yes!
[emily] preferably in somethign that requires lots of international travel?
[katchoo] you can be VEEPEE if you want.
[katchoo] hahah.
[emily] nah, that's ok
[katchoo] of course.
[emily] secretary of state, though
[emily] i'd be down for that
[katchoo] ooh.
[katchoo] that's a good one.
[emily] or at least some kind of dignitary
[katchoo] you can be the ambassador of awesome.
[emily] hahaha.
[emily] all right.
[emily] i'll bring olympia indie rock to all the nations.
[katchoo] that requires a lot of travel.
[katchoo] hahah.
[emily] you'll create a new cabinet position
[emily] the american people will gladly pay my salary
[katchoo] YES.
[emily] it would be totally awesome to like. get into the white house, and then just be all.
[emily] fuck the politics, man, let's ROCK
[katchoo] haha.
[emily] but by the time you get there, you would've lost that passion
[katchoo] we could get any band to play our party.
[emily] because that's the nature of the beast
[emily] dude, we could
[emily] bjork would play the oval office
[emily] sonic youth
[emily] cat power
[katchoo] if i ever became president, i would just plan on being a one-termer. and get as much awesomeness done in 4 hours as i could.
[katchoo] dude
[emily] you could give chan marshall an ambassadorship to whatever country she gets her drugs
[katchoo] that would be the show of all shows.
[katchoo] hahah.
[katchoo] what drugs?!
[emily] haha
[katchoo] is she on drugs
[emily] i don't know, she seems nuts
[emily] she must have something
[katchoo] i read some horrible review
[katchoo] of a show in like australia she did
[katchoo] where she freaked out
[katchoo] and covered a peaches song
[emily] you can sign an executive order to make jeff magnum make more neutral milk hotel records
[katchoo] and then got all sad when people walked out.
[emily] wow
[emily] that is freak
[emily] y
[emily] she is weird.
[katchoo] hahaha.
[katchoo] but i lub her.
[emily] yeah
[emily] just, she's nuts.
[katchoo] she can have my baby any time.
[katchoo] just as long as she you know.
[katchoo] takes care of it.
[katchoo] and pays for it.
[emily] hahah.
[emily] you'll supply the dna.
[emily] the rest is up to her.
[katchoo] YES.
[emily] like a MAN.
[katchoo] but she better provide the kid with an awesome singing voice.
[katchoo] haha.
[emily] yeah, chan marshall singing genes are on the x chromosome
[katchoo] i should call her up
[katchoo] and ask her where she gets her drugs.
[emily] if you were the president
[emily] yopu could call her anytime
[emily] "hey chan, it's aja. yeah, PRESIDENT aja"
[katchoo] hahah.
[emily] "you wanna bring the kid by? i could use a good photo op"
[katchoo] haha!
[katchoo] and then drudgereport would say i was a lesbian.
[emily] you will need some good comedians in your employ as well
[katchoo] and anderson cooper would devote an entire hour
[emily] hahah
[emily] you're not gay!
[emily] you just wanted chan marshall to make your baby
[emily] that's not gay
[katchoo] hahah.
[katchoo] it's just LOGICAL.
[emily] god.
[emily] in the future, that will be ok.
[emily] indie rockers will make babies for presidents ALL the time
[katchoo] hahah.
[emily] standard practice.
[emily] we are so weird for thinking of this.
[katchoo] hahah.
[emily] i want to post this.
[katchoo] good thing it's all being documented on the internets.

[caleb_] only christians have the power to lure us into something so retarded

[emily] holes that needed filling have been satisfied

[katchoo] new guy got cable tv
[katchoo] which means now he wants to talk about all these shows i already know about
[katchoo] like they're BRAND NEW
[katchoo] and he DISCOVERED THEM
[katchoo] and he wants to talk to me about dennis miller and how he changes all the time?
[katchoo] GOD.
[katchoo] GO EAT YOUR PEANUTBUTTER SOMEWHERE ELSE

[katchoo] i just read a really sad news story about a pregnant lady who interrupted a burglary at her mom's home.
[katchoo] she was abducted and murdered. and she was a nurse who worked with kids with cancer!
[katchoo] you can't even write a lifetime network movie like that.

[kevin] i am awake
[kevin] i should do wakeful things
[kevin] like laundry and kidnapping

[notrug] (23:34:34) GodsAngel 1821: girls rule boys drule
[notrug] (23:35:01) GodsAngel 1821: girls are smarter than eneyone
[notrug] (23:36:02) laqmer: if girls rule over so many boys, how come there is never been a girl president?
[notrug] (23:36:21) GodsAngel 1821: i have to go or ill get in trouble bye
[danp] haha
[kevin] hahahah
[danp] this discussion is OVER

[caleb_] there has to be some activity I can engage in that lacks the entire learning process
[caleb_] I said engage
[caleb_] STUPID LEARNING

[nogurt] old people get jokes that don't even exist

[james_] no vegan wedding cake though
[emily] aww.
[aja] are you guys having a wedding cake?
[aja] doh.
[emily] is she just going to eat it anyway?
[aja] how will you shove it into her mouth?!
[aja] hmm.
[aja] please dont' quote me on that.

[Pre] HEY WHORES, HOW'S THE WHORING
[Pre] Haw haw haw
[gabe] i don't know, why don't you ask your mom?
[gabe] OHHHHHHH.
[aja] daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
[Pre] Burn :(

[gabe] Powell Advises Resuming Colombia Anti-Drug Flights
[aja] bleh.
[gabe] hopefully, in my lifetime, they'll realize that the 'war on drugs' isn't working, and will never work.
[robwirk] I advise resuming the dance party.

[elph] my girlfriend was a lesbian untill she met me :P
[aja] you must be ben affleck.

[grnos] pigs make a lot of shit.
[grnos] they talk about it on the radio here like every other day.
[emily_] so do humans.
[grnos] the swine in NC make more shit than humans do in 8 eastern states combined.

[danp] it's getting warm in here
[katchoo] so take off all your socks.

[kevin] the highway patrol loves me
[caleb_] this sounds like a story
[caleb_] lay it on me
[emily] it isn't much of a story.
[kevin] hm
[kevin] they pulled me over and gave me a ticket
[caleb_] you are a bad story teller
[caleb_] :~
[sammy] vroom
[sammy] yeah kevin. that kind of suxed
[kevin] hmm
[kevin] ok i will try again
[sammy] semi-colon pee
[kevin] i was driving
[kevin] and then
[kevin] they pulled me over
[kevin] and gave me a ticket
[emily] i think caleb is looking for something more like:
[emily] so there we were, on the eve of america's destruction, and all the highway patrol could think to do was pull over those more rapidly escaping their fate than others.
[caleb_] YES YES
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] hehe,.
[sammy] i liek that
[emily] the bombs burst in mid-air all around us, pushing us faster, faster.
[emily] the speedometer read 80 when i mentioned the trooper's existence.
[caleb_] 80!? DEAR LORD HES GONNA PULL YOU OVER
[caleb_] AND POSSIBLY *gasp* GIVE YOU A TICKET
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] no sooner had i uttered the warning than lights--flashing the color of our great nation's glory--appeared in the rearview.
[emily] kevin pulled to the shoulder to the *left,* as he was driving in the leftmost lane.
[caleb_] *gasp*
[emily] this was a mistake the trooper would not soon let him forget.
[emily] seeing his california driver's licence, the trooper disdained: "here in washington, we always pull over to the /right/. our shoulders aren't as big as they are in /california/."
[kevin] he made me remember it forever with 40 lashes and scars to last a lifetime
[emily] kevin shuddered with regret for his ignorance.
[caleb_] this is getting good
[emily] then the trooper got to the real business.
[caleb_] sex scene!
[emily] "what were you doin' back there, buddy?" he inquired.
[emily] kevin couldn't possibly explain that the amazing blowjob from all those hot chicks was forcing him to push the upper limits of the posted speed limit, so he blamed it on another driver.
[caleb_] XD
[kevin] at least they were able to hide in the trunk fast through the folding back seat, concealing the open containers of booze
[emily] a verbal argument ensued, in which the trooper repeated his inane rhetorical question and kevin continued to blame the mystery fellow speeder.
[sammy] wtf
[caleb_] i hope this doesnt end like the sixth sense
[emily] finally, words sufficiently minced, the trooper took kevin's license back to the patrol car, promising to return in a minute.
[emily] that minute lasted an agonizing three.
[sammy] haha
[sammy] DEFT.
[emily] the trooper wrote kevin a ticket for $133 and strongly suggested he replace his california license with a shiny, new, superior washington one.
[caleb_] its like im right there with him
[caleb_] in the car
[emily] head held in shame, kevin returned to traffic, and ultimately home.
* sammy passes caleb a japancake.
[emily] the end.
[kevin] little did i know that he planted a sophisticated tracking device on my drivers license..
[sammy] emily, bravo.
[sammy] i am smitten by my new roommate
[caleb_] what a good story
[sammy] i have to go have sweet dreams now
[caleb_] and it got left open for a sequel

[emily_] kevin, are you actually going to go outside
[kevin] i was just out there!
[rob] wu-tang motherfuckers!
[rob] aron: hi aron!
[aron] omg rob

[aja] i'm so excited. my first backstage PASS.
[aja] and i didn't even have to BLOW ANYONE.

[r[o]b] someone already has a patent for toilet shaped cat water bowls. they goes our business plan to make us rich.

[kentucky] kali4nya, aisle 13, right next to the DEAD BABY CAKE MIX
[aja] not dead baby!
[aja] fakebaby!
[kentucky] like.
[kentucky] dude. i think we may have different visions here.
[aja] dude.
[kentucky] or, at least different baby business models
[aja] i'm just saying, if we wanna go mainstream.