[katchoo] i just read a really sad news story about a pregnant lady who interrupted a burglary at her mom's home.
[katchoo] she was abducted and murdered. and she was a nurse who worked with kids with cancer!
[katchoo] you can't even write a lifetime network movie like that.

[kevin] i am awake
[kevin] i should do wakeful things
[kevin] like laundry and kidnapping

[notrug] (23:34:34) GodsAngel 1821: girls rule boys drule
[notrug] (23:35:01) GodsAngel 1821: girls are smarter than eneyone
[notrug] (23:36:02) laqmer: if girls rule over so many boys, how come there is never been a girl president?
[notrug] (23:36:21) GodsAngel 1821: i have to go or ill get in trouble bye
[danp] haha
[kevin] hahahah
[danp] this discussion is OVER

[caleb_] there has to be some activity I can engage in that lacks the entire learning process
[caleb_] I said engage
[caleb_] STUPID LEARNING

[nogurt] old people get jokes that don't even exist

[james_] no vegan wedding cake though
[emily] aww.
[aja] are you guys having a wedding cake?
[aja] doh.
[emily] is she just going to eat it anyway?
[aja] how will you shove it into her mouth?!
[aja] hmm.
[aja] please dont' quote me on that.

[Pre] HEY WHORES, HOW'S THE WHORING
[Pre] Haw haw haw
[gabe] i don't know, why don't you ask your mom?
[gabe] OHHHHHHH.
[aja] daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
[Pre] Burn :(

[gabe] Powell Advises Resuming Colombia Anti-Drug Flights
[aja] bleh.
[gabe] hopefully, in my lifetime, they'll realize that the 'war on drugs' isn't working, and will never work.
[robwirk] I advise resuming the dance party.

[elph] my girlfriend was a lesbian untill she met me :P
[aja] you must be ben affleck.

[grnos] pigs make a lot of shit.
[grnos] they talk about it on the radio here like every other day.
[emily_] so do humans.
[grnos] the swine in NC make more shit than humans do in 8 eastern states combined.

[danp] it's getting warm in here
[katchoo] so take off all your socks.

[kevin] the highway patrol loves me
[caleb_] this sounds like a story
[caleb_] lay it on me
[emily] it isn't much of a story.
[kevin] hm
[kevin] they pulled me over and gave me a ticket
[caleb_] you are a bad story teller
[caleb_] :~
[sammy] vroom
[sammy] yeah kevin. that kind of suxed
[kevin] hmm
[kevin] ok i will try again
[sammy] semi-colon pee
[kevin] i was driving
[kevin] and then
[kevin] they pulled me over
[kevin] and gave me a ticket
[emily] i think caleb is looking for something more like:
[emily] so there we were, on the eve of america's destruction, and all the highway patrol could think to do was pull over those more rapidly escaping their fate than others.
[caleb_] YES YES
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] hehe,.
[sammy] i liek that
[emily] the bombs burst in mid-air all around us, pushing us faster, faster.
[emily] the speedometer read 80 when i mentioned the trooper's existence.
[caleb_] 80!? DEAR LORD HES GONNA PULL YOU OVER
[caleb_] AND POSSIBLY *gasp* GIVE YOU A TICKET
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] no sooner had i uttered the warning than lights--flashing the color of our great nation's glory--appeared in the rearview.
[emily] kevin pulled to the shoulder to the *left,* as he was driving in the leftmost lane.
[caleb_] *gasp*
[emily] this was a mistake the trooper would not soon let him forget.
[emily] seeing his california driver's licence, the trooper disdained: "here in washington, we always pull over to the /right/. our shoulders aren't as big as they are in /california/."
[kevin] he made me remember it forever with 40 lashes and scars to last a lifetime
[emily] kevin shuddered with regret for his ignorance.
[caleb_] this is getting good
[emily] then the trooper got to the real business.
[caleb_] sex scene!
[emily] "what were you doin' back there, buddy?" he inquired.
[emily] kevin couldn't possibly explain that the amazing blowjob from all those hot chicks was forcing him to push the upper limits of the posted speed limit, so he blamed it on another driver.
[caleb_] XD
[kevin] at least they were able to hide in the trunk fast through the folding back seat, concealing the open containers of booze
[emily] a verbal argument ensued, in which the trooper repeated his inane rhetorical question and kevin continued to blame the mystery fellow speeder.
[sammy] wtf
[caleb_] i hope this doesnt end like the sixth sense
[emily] finally, words sufficiently minced, the trooper took kevin's license back to the patrol car, promising to return in a minute.
[emily] that minute lasted an agonizing three.
[sammy] haha
[sammy] DEFT.
[emily] the trooper wrote kevin a ticket for $133 and strongly suggested he replace his california license with a shiny, new, superior washington one.
[caleb_] its like im right there with him
[caleb_] in the car
[emily] head held in shame, kevin returned to traffic, and ultimately home.
* sammy passes caleb a japancake.
[emily] the end.
[kevin] little did i know that he planted a sophisticated tracking device on my drivers license..
[sammy] emily, bravo.
[sammy] i am smitten by my new roommate
[caleb_] what a good story
[sammy] i have to go have sweet dreams now
[caleb_] and it got left open for a sequel

[emily_] kevin, are you actually going to go outside
[kevin] i was just out there!
[rob] wu-tang motherfuckers!
[rob] aron: hi aron!
[aron] omg rob

[aja] i'm so excited. my first backstage PASS.
[aja] and i didn't even have to BLOW ANYONE.

[r[o]b] someone already has a patent for toilet shaped cat water bowls. they goes our business plan to make us rich.

[kentucky] kali4nya, aisle 13, right next to the DEAD BABY CAKE MIX
[aja] not dead baby!
[aja] fakebaby!
[kentucky] like.
[kentucky] dude. i think we may have different visions here.
[aja] dude.
[kentucky] or, at least different baby business models
[aja] i'm just saying, if we wanna go mainstream.

[Nevada] http://www.butler-machinery.com/news_60.html
[tennessee] not a very practical car!
[tennessee] where would you park that?
[Nevada] No, but I could drive over people with it.
[Nevada] And I would like to see how they plan on towing it.
[tennessee] hm
[tennessee] you could drive over people with a reglar car
[Nevada] Yeah, but not while they were in their office buildings.

[aja] she drinks nervous juice for breakfast.
[aja] and eats nervous toast for lunch.
[aja] and then i think she must shove carrots up her ass for dinner.
[aja] becauase she's really uptight.

[Chris] At some point I think I got "I am the Walrus".
[Chris] I understood it somehow.
[Chris] On some level.
[Chris] Now I am confused again.
[Chris] I am old.

[sammy] i have north carolina krispy kreme
[aja] FUCKYOUSAM.
[aja] sorry, too much work today.
[aja] not enough donuts.
[r[o]b] work to donut ratio is out of balence.