[nogurt] old people get jokes that don't even exist

[james_] no vegan wedding cake though
[emily] aww.
[aja] are you guys having a wedding cake?
[aja] doh.
[emily] is she just going to eat it anyway?
[aja] how will you shove it into her mouth?!
[aja] hmm.
[aja] please dont' quote me on that.

[Pre] HEY WHORES, HOW'S THE WHORING
[Pre] Haw haw haw
[gabe] i don't know, why don't you ask your mom?
[gabe] OHHHHHHH.
[aja] daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
[Pre] Burn :(

[gabe] Powell Advises Resuming Colombia Anti-Drug Flights
[aja] bleh.
[gabe] hopefully, in my lifetime, they'll realize that the 'war on drugs' isn't working, and will never work.
[robwirk] I advise resuming the dance party.

[elph] my girlfriend was a lesbian untill she met me :P
[aja] you must be ben affleck.

[grnos] pigs make a lot of shit.
[grnos] they talk about it on the radio here like every other day.
[emily_] so do humans.
[grnos] the swine in NC make more shit than humans do in 8 eastern states combined.

[danp] it's getting warm in here
[katchoo] so take off all your socks.

[kevin] the highway patrol loves me
[caleb_] this sounds like a story
[caleb_] lay it on me
[emily] it isn't much of a story.
[kevin] hm
[kevin] they pulled me over and gave me a ticket
[caleb_] you are a bad story teller
[caleb_] :~
[sammy] vroom
[sammy] yeah kevin. that kind of suxed
[kevin] hmm
[kevin] ok i will try again
[sammy] semi-colon pee
[kevin] i was driving
[kevin] and then
[kevin] they pulled me over
[kevin] and gave me a ticket
[emily] i think caleb is looking for something more like:
[emily] so there we were, on the eve of america's destruction, and all the highway patrol could think to do was pull over those more rapidly escaping their fate than others.
[caleb_] YES YES
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] hehe,.
[sammy] i liek that
[emily] the bombs burst in mid-air all around us, pushing us faster, faster.
[emily] the speedometer read 80 when i mentioned the trooper's existence.
[caleb_] 80!? DEAR LORD HES GONNA PULL YOU OVER
[caleb_] AND POSSIBLY *gasp* GIVE YOU A TICKET
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] no sooner had i uttered the warning than lights--flashing the color of our great nation's glory--appeared in the rearview.
[emily] kevin pulled to the shoulder to the *left,* as he was driving in the leftmost lane.
[caleb_] *gasp*
[emily] this was a mistake the trooper would not soon let him forget.
[emily] seeing his california driver's licence, the trooper disdained: "here in washington, we always pull over to the /right/. our shoulders aren't as big as they are in /california/."
[kevin] he made me remember it forever with 40 lashes and scars to last a lifetime
[emily] kevin shuddered with regret for his ignorance.
[caleb_] this is getting good
[emily] then the trooper got to the real business.
[caleb_] sex scene!
[emily] "what were you doin' back there, buddy?" he inquired.
[emily] kevin couldn't possibly explain that the amazing blowjob from all those hot chicks was forcing him to push the upper limits of the posted speed limit, so he blamed it on another driver.
[caleb_] XD
[kevin] at least they were able to hide in the trunk fast through the folding back seat, concealing the open containers of booze
[emily] a verbal argument ensued, in which the trooper repeated his inane rhetorical question and kevin continued to blame the mystery fellow speeder.
[sammy] wtf
[caleb_] i hope this doesnt end like the sixth sense
[emily] finally, words sufficiently minced, the trooper took kevin's license back to the patrol car, promising to return in a minute.
[emily] that minute lasted an agonizing three.
[sammy] haha
[sammy] DEFT.
[emily] the trooper wrote kevin a ticket for $133 and strongly suggested he replace his california license with a shiny, new, superior washington one.
[caleb_] its like im right there with him
[caleb_] in the car
[emily] head held in shame, kevin returned to traffic, and ultimately home.
* sammy passes caleb a japancake.
[emily] the end.
[kevin] little did i know that he planted a sophisticated tracking device on my drivers license..
[sammy] emily, bravo.
[sammy] i am smitten by my new roommate
[caleb_] what a good story
[sammy] i have to go have sweet dreams now
[caleb_] and it got left open for a sequel

[emily_] kevin, are you actually going to go outside
[kevin] i was just out there!
[rob] wu-tang motherfuckers!
[rob] aron: hi aron!
[aron] omg rob

[aja] i'm so excited. my first backstage PASS.
[aja] and i didn't even have to BLOW ANYONE.

[r[o]b] someone already has a patent for toilet shaped cat water bowls. they goes our business plan to make us rich.

[kentucky] kali4nya, aisle 13, right next to the DEAD BABY CAKE MIX
[aja] not dead baby!
[aja] fakebaby!
[kentucky] like.
[kentucky] dude. i think we may have different visions here.
[aja] dude.
[kentucky] or, at least different baby business models
[aja] i'm just saying, if we wanna go mainstream.

[Nevada] http://www.butler-machinery.com/news_60.html
[tennessee] not a very practical car!
[tennessee] where would you park that?
[Nevada] No, but I could drive over people with it.
[Nevada] And I would like to see how they plan on towing it.
[tennessee] hm
[tennessee] you could drive over people with a reglar car
[Nevada] Yeah, but not while they were in their office buildings.

[aja] she drinks nervous juice for breakfast.
[aja] and eats nervous toast for lunch.
[aja] and then i think she must shove carrots up her ass for dinner.
[aja] becauase she's really uptight.

[Chris] At some point I think I got "I am the Walrus".
[Chris] I understood it somehow.
[Chris] On some level.
[Chris] Now I am confused again.
[Chris] I am old.

[sammy] i have north carolina krispy kreme
[aja] FUCKYOUSAM.
[aja] sorry, too much work today.
[aja] not enough donuts.
[r[o]b] work to donut ratio is out of balence.

[katchoo] Researchers in China, meanwhile, are working with rabbits as
surrogates for cloned pandas, which are about the size of a stick of
butter when they're born.
[mammy] haha. stick of butter.
[katchoo] i wonder if i could be a surrogate for a panda.
[katchoo] if a rabbit can do it, why not ME.
[katchoo] giving birth to a stick of butter would be nooooo problem.
[katchoo] i do it every day.
[mammy] that's weird
[mammy] butter comes with its own lube
[mammy] birthing lube

[emily_] someone on a message board i read says he gives people either a gift certificate to home depot or toys in babeland. :P
[rob] toys! :)
[emily_] rob, those are sex toys. ;)
[rob] They need to have a gundam for their future life together.
[rob] gundams are sexy. :P

[gabe] what's the biggest height you've dived from?
[caleb] the high dive
[caleb] i guess
[caleb] one time i jumped into my neighbors pool
[caleb] from outer space.
[caleb] it was awesome
[gabe] and then you died, and jesus gave you life, and you ate a TACO
[gabe] but you got stomach cramps, since you didn't wait an hour.
[caleb] and THEN i hit the water
[gabe] :((((((((((((((((!!!!!!!!!!!111111
[gabe] SPLOOSH!
[caleb] the splash killed my neighbor

[aja] now i'm a doctor and a pastor.
[aja] i'm not a real doctor, but i play one on the internet.

[rob] oh no! I'm the crazy one. I've never ordered erotic cake.

[r[o]b] aja: cancle all your birthday plans. we're taking it over! muahahaha!
[r[o]b] I hope you like austrailian donkey crab cause thats what your getting for dinner.

[r[o]b] I'm hungry! what should I get for lunch today?
[ymmas] panda burger!
[aja] ew.
[aja] don't do that, rob.
[emily] pandas are almost as delicious as fresh baby.
[aja] pandas are for loving and petting.
[aja] babies are for eating.
[aja] when i have a kid, i'll have to remember to lay off the baby-eating jokes.
[emily] UM NUM NUM NUM
[emily] BABIES
[ymmas] the
[ymmas] wheels on the bus go round and round
[aja] i feel like i'm in a psych ward.
[emily] BABYMONSTER SMASH

[kevin] they started playing santana or something loudly
[kevin] so now i am playing elliott smith loudly
[kevin] eat my emo, bastards!!

[xenii-] rob was playing daoc at deans today
[xenii-] and right when we came in i saw his character and said
[xenii-] "haha youre all small"
[danp] haha
[xenii-] and rob replied with
[xenii-] "no youre small"
[xenii-] got me good, that rob
[danp] you got owned
[xenii-] yeah

[DamoSphere] it's all about the right to arm bears
[Pre] bare arms.
[ymmas] fuck yeah!
* ymmas rips off his shirt sleeves.

[r[o]b] the temp (but full time) girl here took a part time job where you transport dead people.
[DamoSphere] yuck
[r[o]b] she has a pager now. if it goes off then she has to pick someone up.
* DamoSphere/#n00n shivers
[DamoSphere] i'm not down for hanging out with corpses
[aja] my body may die but my heart will keep loving you, baby.
[aja] hmm.
[aja] i would transport dead popel.
[aja] people.
[aja] for the riiiiiight price.
[aja] i'd even use my own trunk.
[r[o]b] aja: its pretty good money
[DamoSphere] i only transport dead people if i need them to dissappear
[aja] what kind of skills do you need?
[r[o]b] somestuff isn't gunna be pretty. murders and parts hanging out, maybe even dismemberment, ugly stuff
[r[o]b] aja: I don't think there are any special skills required other then being able to handle the
[r[o]b] handle dealing with dead people
[aja] i think i could do it.
[aja] i just gotta.
[aja] hold my breath.
[aja] plug my nose.
[aja] and think of them as dirty clothes.
[aja] that was my poem.
[aja] about moving dead people.
[DamoSphere] haha
[DamoSphere] crazy aja
[aja] hmm.
[aja] the more i look at what we're talking about.
[aja] the more i think i should quote it.
[aja] even though.
[aja] it's mostly me talking.
[aja] because i DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP.

[aja] you can sell it on ebay.
[aja] PURE VEGAN SPERM.
[kevin] hmm
[kevin] new business for the unemployed
[aja] hehaha.
[aja] VEGAN CUM HUNGRY SLUTS WILL BE CLAMORING FOR THE STUFF.
[emily] vegan cum sluts
[emily] i want spam that has THAT in the subject.
[aja] haha.
[emily] VEGAN CUM SLUTS FOR PETA!!!!!!!!!!
[emily] does that make you horny, baby, yeeeah.
[emily] condoms not tested on animals!
[aja] hahaasdf.
[james] now you all know who has the good jizz
[aja] hahasdf.
[james] peta could use that to get more people to go veg

[james] the lady just said if a guy gives up meat his sperm will taste good
[aja] !
[aja] really?
[james] yeah
[aja] hmmm.
[aja] i'm not going to say anything.
[emily] heheheh.
[aja] but YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD SAY OR ASK.
[james] haha
[ymmas] man who eat fruit bear tasty man spam

[caleb] aja: its a service for deaf people wher eyou type things to an operator and they voice them to other people over the phone
[caleb] but i just type funny shit
[aja] will a real person be talking?!
[aja] i'm so lost.
[aja] rob, help me.
[caleb] yeah
[caleb] they are operators
[aja] you are abusing a good service!
[caleb] and you type to them
[aja] i don't think we shoudl participate.
[caleb] and they say what you type
[caleb] and then type back the response
[caleb] DONT KILL MY FUN
[aja] karma is gonna get you.
[aja] i'd love to work for a service like that.
[aja] talk adn type.
[caleb] this is good for the operators who get a relief from boring deaf people all day

[emily] yesss tracy will give me SEXYCOFFEESOAP.
[tracyp] :c)
[tracyp] awww yeah
[aja] awww y;eah!
[emily] then i can have orgasms in the shower.
[aja] you gusy rock. :D
[tracyp] oh my
[aja] hahaha.
[aja] i have ahd those without soap.
[tracyp] perhaps i will need to get a special mold for htat
[aja] OKAY GOODNIGHT
[aja] SAID TOO MUCH
[aja] hahahahsdf.
[emily] hahahashdf.
[aja] special mold.
[emily] whoa.
[tracyp] :c)
[tracyp] *wink*
[aja] we're too dirty for words.
[emily] heheheeas/
[aja] i love the shower.

[aja] this woman just got on the PA.
[aja] and i swear she said "my clit, please dial the operator. my clit, please dial the operator."
[aja] maybe we have an employee named mike lit.

[timl] fuck! lawrence welk is on! see ya guys later :)

--- `_ has become _`
--- _` has become __|__
<-- skacr0w has kicked __|__ from #n00n (Niq flood (3 nicks in 16secs of 30secs))
--> __|__ (~kevin@blue.netnation.com) has joined #n00n
--- danp gives channel operator status to __|__
[maroo] hmm.
--- __|__ has become ___|_
--- ___|_ has become ____|
* ^________________^ ;
--- ____| has become _
* _ *
[emily] ok wtf.
--- _ has become hmm
* hmm *
--- ^________________^ has become O
* O :
* O - :
[Chris] Kevin is rocking the nick crossfader.

[katchoo] i want a baseball field
[katchoo] fulla dead baseball players. :(
[maroo] katchoo, you're sick.
[maroo] i'd have to call you kevin costner
[maroo] and make fun of you for waterworld

[rob] I better goto work now. If I don't show up I might get sent to china to work in the factories.

[gabe] say something secret about chris!
[gabe] HE CAN'T TELL!
[caleb_] i love him
[emily_] hahah.
[caleb_] :X
[gabe] CHRIS IS A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS
[emily_] i know secrets about chris.
[caleb_] i have a secret
[caleb_] ...
[caleb_] im late.
[caleb_] and not like late to a meeting
[caleb_] im... LATE
[caleb_] and guess what
[caleb_] ITS CHRIS'S

[aja] aron: we need to own our own business and have laptops.
[aron] hell yeah
[caleb] you can call it ajaron
[caleb] im out though
[caleb] pz
* caleb is not here: [l(on) p(on)]
[aron] hmmm..... ajaron
[aron] aja:what would the company do?
[aja] aron: get rich.
[aron] damn!
[aron] that sounds good

[r[o]b] pre: I've been doing evil. :P
[pre] evil is bad, rob!

[aja] you've been naked with a republican.
[aja] DO THEY LOOK DIFFERENT?
[sham] yeah. when i went to put my hoo-hoo in her ha-ha, her ha-ha had been replaced by a big red-white-and-blue ELEPHANT.

[aja] eternity comes and goes in 7 months.

[emily] hello kitty has no PLACE in my pussy.

* sucre starts a bay area emo band, "crying while masturbating" - anybody interested?
[aja] i will join your band
[sucre] aja, okay. i have a position open for stage masturbatory performance art, or, you can do vocals if you like to sing.

[ymmas] any time i think of aja, i see a big floating keyboard where her head should be

winnie gets a real american cultural education:
[reza] ok after ludacris, I am going to listen to rufus wainwright

ajamccain: poop
ajamccain: UDDE>
ajamccain: DUDE.
ajamccain: my cat.
ajamccain: typed poop.
ajamccain: i shit you not.
ajamccain: i hit return so you could see it.
(thanks to sammy for pasting that aim conversation to the channel!)

[kevin] this keyboard spells disaster
[sammy] a keyboard that can only spell disaster seems pretty limited

[rob] i keep thinking the new mozilla icon is a happy read heart!!! then I think, "no! I cannot have cute on my computer! I want skull!" then I see its the dinosaur head and then its all okay.

[ymmas] i just realized something: i really like alternative country
* ymmas goes out to buy a thirft-store cowboy hat.

on the subject of sammy's parents' computers:

[ymmas] rob, is their computer still broken?
[r[o]b] ymmas: yes. both their computers are broken.
[ymmas] heh.
[r[o]b] i don't know how to fix them.
[ymmas] that's so rad. i bet they are really thrashed :(
[aja] how did they break them both?
[r[o]b] by trying to connect to the internet.
[aja] HAHA>

[katchoo] fuck all these stem cell debates.
[katchoo] i'm gonna start a babyfarm.
[caleb] haha
[katchoo] babies by the pound.
[caleb] whats up with stem cells now?
[emily] they use them to do genetic research and stuff.
[katchoo] i dunno, connie chung was talking to some dude about cloning and petri dishes and sheep and babies and fetus issues.
[emily] they come from dead fetuses and stuff.
[katchoo] babyfarm.
[emily] yeah.
[emily] with jars and shit.
[Chris] The new food source! Feed the world!
[emily] you get the stem cells, then you get out of town.
[katchoo] i'd pay handsomely for good baby sprouts.
[katchoo] and i'd get paid just as handsomely for my babycrop.
[katchoo] i'd have to invent some sort of plow that won't tear flesh, though.
[emily] i am so quoting this shit.
* katchoo blinks.
[katchoo] BUT I LOVE BABIES SO DON'T GET ME WRONG.
[katchoo] haaaaaaaaaaaarvesttime.

[Chris] Fuck kids. I need to be perky.

[hb] april thinks she's about to wrestle me to the ground
[hb] but she's gonna lose
[hb] cuz asja sgbh sgkhsw jpoik;da jvgas
[hb] gzagh lwa;dljg
[hb] s
[hb] ilsahflkzcx
[hb] hZ
[hb] LKC

[emily] aja, when is the wedding?
[aja] wedding?
[emily] yeah.
[emily] you and beck.
[aja] beck and i are no longer engaged.
[emily] hahaha.
[gabe] :(
[gabe] I BROKE THAT UP
<-- gabe (gabe@az-yuma2b-170.yumaaz.adelphia.net) has left #n00n
[emily] you knew what i was talking about!
[emily] that's so sad!
--> gabe (gabe@az-yuma2b-170.yumaaz.adelphia.net) has joined #n00n
--- failure gives channel operator status to gabe
[gabe] #3834.
[aja] emily: i know, wasn't it? :P

[svmmy] kurt cobain was lactose intolerant.
[kevin] sam, but his favorite food was kraft macaroni and cheese
[kevin] strange for one who is lactose intolerant
[kevin] hmm
[svmmy] hehe! i was just reciting the name of a zine :P
[svmmy] i don't know if he was truly lactose intolerant.

[danp] http://www.somethingawful.com/inserts/news/images/07-2002/07-24-2002-kitten.jpg
[danp] haha what the
[james] haha
[danp] where do they come up with this stuff
[james] creative minds

[mymymy] i miss kurt cobain
[katchoo] yeah. :/
[mymymy] he would know what to do in a situation like this
[mymymy] he would have words
[mymymy] and 3 chords
[mymymy] to soothe us

[katchoo] i submit.
[katchoo] that the emblem/logo for schweppes gingerail..
[katchoo] contains hidden pictures of either naked chicks, a vagina, or dolphins.
[katchoo] i haven't decided yet.
[emily] hahaha.
[kevin] hmm
[kevin] maybe it has naked dolphin vaginas

[reza] I don't htink I'm the alcoholic type! but I like my men intoxicated
[reza] mostly by ME

[aja] is it alcoholic?cause i only know about BOOZE and BROADS.

[r[o]b] information security is pretty important
[r[o]b] like if you say, "I'm going to burger king right now", and a spy heard that. it would be all over.

[aja] once upon a time there was a panda named sleepy.
[aron] huh
[aja] and sleepy was a happy panda. as long as they let sleepy stay in bed.
[aron] oh yeah?
[aja] in the kingdom of sleepy.
[aron] tell me more!
[aja] but just past the kingdom of sleepy, there lies a kingom called real life.
[aron] :O
[aja] and the ruler of real life was an eeevil queen named MONEYCUNT.
[aron] i'm scared
[aja] and five days out of seven, queen moneycunt FORCED the peaceful pandas of sleepy kingdom out of bed against their will.
[aron] :(
[aja] and dragged them by their soft pana hair to the dark dungeons of EMPLOYMENTDOOM.
[aja] and two times a month, evil queen MONEYCUNT would shed some of her skin, and give it to the pandas.
[aja] and they would think, yes. i am happy.
[aja] unfortunately, the happiness wore off, and the golden skin of evil queen moneycunt would shrivel and disappear.
[aja] i'm tired. i don't know if i can go on.

[dylan] i was sittin out in front of quikmart
[dylan] drinkin a coke
[dylan] smokin
[dylan] some gangster guy was all stoned
[dylan] started talkin to me
[dylan] sat down next to me and asked "whats that characters name... from the facts of life"
[dylan] im like "tootie?"
[dylan] 'yea tootie, thats you mang'
[dylan] i was wearing my rollerblades.
[gabe] HAHA
[gabe] it's an honor to be called tootie, i think.
[dylan] yes
[dylan] he wasnt doin it to make fun of me, so it was all good in the hood

[pajama] CLITSAW
[pajama] that should have read clitsaq.
[gabe] clitsaq.
[emily] clitsaw!@#
[pajama] but clitsaw. new word.

[emily] it doesn't get all hard in my mouth.
*yes, i fully understand this is a low-blow, taken-out-of-context quote. but shit, dude. it's getting dry around here.

[segsam] how long does it take to ship a baby from the uk to california
[pajama] as long as it takes to ship a watermelon.
[pajama] they are btoh very fragile.
[hb] but watermelons taste better.

[segsam] i meant, i want to DO the IN 'N' OUT
[gabe] weren't you hot for some girl who looks like anne?
[gabe] go, man.
[gabe] complete her bun with a weiner and some ketchup.
[segsam] haherhump
[segsam] i need to find a hungry hole

[katchoo] hi./;2/.5465'
[emily] aja, is there a kitten on your keyboard?
[katchoo] 98+-o9-=z M T^&~l,rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsd~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~, m[14~sdddddddddddddddddddddddddd34 bn3~BN M{_
[emily] i will take that as a yes.
[katchoo] dalnet sucks////////////////////////CVVVVVVVVVV1```````````````VL
[katchoo] N=063.

[pajama] i'll HEH you in a minute, bub.
[smmy] i'll be thinking about you doing that to me while i shower

[kevin] i am afraid to look for 'raging erection' in google

[m335h] i am so comsumed by hunger and the lack of nicotine, i am rambling. about tolstoy!

[emily] ok, i think i have a vague idea, but i'm having trouble with the execution.
[katchoo] i could probably apply that statement to many things in my life.

[caleb] that was the kind of fart that could end a marriage

[gabe_] blow me, buddy!
[caleb] if i blow you... will you stop liking gta3?
[segsam] i would stop liking gta3 for a blowjob right now
* caleb goes down so far on sam he needs a passport to get out of central america

i dunno. i just thought this whole 3 minutes was pretty funny. so if you don't hang out on #n00n. here's what you've been missing.

[panamaniac] It was fun though. Snowboarding in a tank top. wheeee!
[katchoo] tank top!
[kathcoo] did your boobies fall out
[katchoo] haha.
[deelo] hahah
[panamaniac] haha..no, I had them secured with a sports bra.
* katchoo points out that it wasn't me that said that.
[sammi] i can't believe you just said that dood.
[katchoo] haha.
[deelo] i gotta fart
[katchoo] EAT IT TRUONG.
[deelo] its gonna be beeg
[katchoo] my feet.
[katchoo] smell like yuor fart, i'm sure.
[panamaniac] hahaha
[deelo] it wont stink
[deelo] its too fast to stink
[katchoo] uh huh.
[deelo] its just gonna fire my pants
[katchoo] haha.
[katchoo] hasdfh.
[deelo] only slow ones stink
[sammi] i'm calling my kable kompany right now. I WILL HAVE HBO FOR THE 6FU FINALE
[katchoo] should i quote that
[panamaniac] slow hot ones.
[katchoo] sammi: you got 2 weeks to get it secured.
[deelo] my pants will temporarily become 25% of the fantastic four
[katchoo] okay.
[deelo] im subbin for the human torch
[katchoo] i gotta copy this stuff down.
[skacr0w] sammi: where am i gonna put this?
[deelo] >_< FLAME ON!!!!!!!!!!

[deelo] i hate being a housewife

[segsam] do you want to be the next contestant on the price is right?
[katchoo] only if the showcase showdown consists of a one way trip to hell.
[segsam] i have to admit, it is a pretty weird show, but i don't think they send you to hell.
[katchoo] we all know bob barker is satan.
[katchoo] and barker's beauties are just succubi.
[katchoo] or whatever the plural for succubus is.
[katchoo] and however you spell succubus.
[segsam] haha.
[katchoo] and i'm sure if emily were here, she'd want to quote all this.

[segsam] i wonder who broke into my house last night
[emily_] !
[emily_] what?!
[segsam] i wish they'd return my tv.
[segsam] i wanna watch cartoons
[emily_] people stole your tv?!
[segsam] not really :( but scott's closet door is not as i recognized it yesterday.

[katchoo] you know.
[katchoo] if i were a bat.
[katchoo] i'd be pretty pissed.
[katchoo] and then i'd bite people.
[emily] hahah.
[segsam] then you'd emit high frequency sounds
[katchoo] i thought about sitting on the floor in second grade.
[segsam] i'd have to eat you

here is a poem. and god no, i didn't write it. ENJOY. HEEEHAHA.

CHATTING WORKS LIKE DRUGS

a bracket, then a number
three
-a heart for someone dear
when we are on i r c
a star will be a tear

a smiley can be real or not
and chatting works like drugs
we heal that real-life messy
knot
by parenthesis hugs

but time is up, i have to go
two hours a day, you see
..i wonder could you ever
know
how much you mean to me...

[katchoo] i am SO IN MY MOBILE HOME
[katchoo] HELLO FROM GRANDPAS TRAILER
[katchoo] I HAVE NO WATER OR GAS
[katchoo] BUT I AHVE CABLE
[katchoo] AND THAT IS ALL I NEED

[kevin] lately.
[kevin] if there is like, 3 lines of text
[kevin] i anticipate girls and robots.
[kevin] i am tired of robots!

[hammy] i like music up the ass

[katchoo] you guys should meet in oregon and go get some food.
[kevin] i would be pretty hungry by the time i got to oregon!
[katchoo] i was thinking you guys could ride bikes.
[kevin] wow.
[kevin] i think i would die if i attempted to ride my bike to oregon without eating
[katchoo] you will eat THE POWER OF NATURE.
[kevin] the power of nature?
[kevin] i don't like this air, but that doesn't mean i'll stop breathing
[katchoo] don't look at me!
[katchoo] i just irk here.

[katchoo] HRM.
[katchoo] my head
[katchoo] is full of things
[katchoo] hopefully excedrin will get rid of at least one of the things.
[katchoo] called PAIN.

[hammy] i like to kill almost as much as i like to eat

(i'm beginning to think sammy could have a quotepage of himself)

[hammy] hi
[hammy] i'm just lagged
[hammy] and curiously gay

[sbammy] dildos are funny
[sbammy] girls stick t hem up their yings and yangs
[katchoo] !@#
[sbammy] and guys just stick them up their yangs

[aron] oh man, stomach is upset, i need to go spray brown town with my flamming hot diarrhea

[katchoo] i should roll a cigarette soon. i am so thirsty. hrm.
[dylan] thirsty
[dylan] cigarettes
[dylan] (give em something to drink dude)
[dylan] thirsty
[dylan] cigarettes
[dylan] (dude theyre really thirsty)
[dylan] thirsty
[dylan] aja
[dylan] (shes thirsty too)
[katchoo] haha.
[katchoo] are you writing a song?
[dylan] thats my poem
[dylan] about CANCER

[katchoob] oh the lies flow like orange juice tonight.

kevin, doing taxes:
[kevin] 'get organized - personal information'
[kevin] 'Here's what you will need to complete this section:'
[kevin] 'Your full name'
[kevin] hmm... i'd better go find that.

(posted for caleb)
[meeshy] Idol!
[dylan] billy
[meeshy] graham
[caleb] crackers

[DragonRe] when you make love to a cactus, it makes love right back at you

[tabmmy] because anytime you have girl soup and you sprinkle in boy there is tricksterness

[rob] so pretend that in my brain aja is the short term memory and emily is the long term memory.
[rob] I would be crazy because of the voices in my head talking about sex toys and stuffs. :P

[aja] maybe i should go smoke and give some kid cancer.
[aja] and then i'll beat her in the head.
[aja] until the make a wish foundation takes her to disney land.
[aja] i'm going to hell. gosh.

* xammy beats emily up in a sexish, kinky sorta way.

[katchoo] we all need love, don't we?
[james] yes
[james] and robots
[katchoo] haha.
[katchoo] LOVE AND ROBOTS.
[james] yup
[katchoo] and the world will be perfect.
[james] and everyone knows that girls love robots

[aja] gooood is supposed to be like god.