[grnos] pigs make a lot of shit.
[grnos] they talk about it on the radio here like every other day.
[emily_] so do humans.
[grnos] the swine in NC make more shit than humans do in 8 eastern states combined.

[danp] it's getting warm in here
[katchoo] so take off all your socks.

[kevin] the highway patrol loves me
[caleb_] this sounds like a story
[caleb_] lay it on me
[emily] it isn't much of a story.
[kevin] hm
[kevin] they pulled me over and gave me a ticket
[caleb_] you are a bad story teller
[caleb_] :~
[sammy] vroom
[sammy] yeah kevin. that kind of suxed
[kevin] hmm
[kevin] ok i will try again
[sammy] semi-colon pee
[kevin] i was driving
[kevin] and then
[kevin] they pulled me over
[kevin] and gave me a ticket
[emily] i think caleb is looking for something more like:
[emily] so there we were, on the eve of america's destruction, and all the highway patrol could think to do was pull over those more rapidly escaping their fate than others.
[caleb_] YES YES
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] hehe,.
[sammy] i liek that
[emily] the bombs burst in mid-air all around us, pushing us faster, faster.
[emily] the speedometer read 80 when i mentioned the trooper's existence.
[caleb_] 80!? DEAR LORD HES GONNA PULL YOU OVER
[caleb_] AND POSSIBLY *gasp* GIVE YOU A TICKET
[caleb_] GO ON
[emily] no sooner had i uttered the warning than lights--flashing the color of our great nation's glory--appeared in the rearview.
[emily] kevin pulled to the shoulder to the *left,* as he was driving in the leftmost lane.
[caleb_] *gasp*
[emily] this was a mistake the trooper would not soon let him forget.
[emily] seeing his california driver's licence, the trooper disdained: "here in washington, we always pull over to the /right/. our shoulders aren't as big as they are in /california/."
[kevin] he made me remember it forever with 40 lashes and scars to last a lifetime
[emily] kevin shuddered with regret for his ignorance.
[caleb_] this is getting good
[emily] then the trooper got to the real business.
[caleb_] sex scene!
[emily] "what were you doin' back there, buddy?" he inquired.
[emily] kevin couldn't possibly explain that the amazing blowjob from all those hot chicks was forcing him to push the upper limits of the posted speed limit, so he blamed it on another driver.
[caleb_] XD
[kevin] at least they were able to hide in the trunk fast through the folding back seat, concealing the open containers of booze
[emily] a verbal argument ensued, in which the trooper repeated his inane rhetorical question and kevin continued to blame the mystery fellow speeder.
[sammy] wtf
[caleb_] i hope this doesnt end like the sixth sense
[emily] finally, words sufficiently minced, the trooper took kevin's license back to the patrol car, promising to return in a minute.
[emily] that minute lasted an agonizing three.
[sammy] haha
[sammy] DEFT.
[emily] the trooper wrote kevin a ticket for $133 and strongly suggested he replace his california license with a shiny, new, superior washington one.
[caleb_] its like im right there with him
[caleb_] in the car
[emily] head held in shame, kevin returned to traffic, and ultimately home.
* sammy passes caleb a japancake.
[emily] the end.
[kevin] little did i know that he planted a sophisticated tracking device on my drivers license..
[sammy] emily, bravo.
[sammy] i am smitten by my new roommate
[caleb_] what a good story
[sammy] i have to go have sweet dreams now
[caleb_] and it got left open for a sequel